Full Screen CI Images

Images are Scalable Vector Graphics, click the links and hit F11.
Image Usage Restrictions Apply.

Build Breaker

Cause: Matey breaks the build and disappears off for a long lunch.
Usage guide: Save a local copy, add this to his laptop's crontab.
30 8 * * 1-5  gconftool-2 -t str --set /desktop/gnome/background/picture_filename $XDG_DATA_DIRS/wallpapers/buildbreaker.png

Its not rocket science

Cause: Old timer still don't get the whole unit testing thing.
Submits DoA code that actually makes it past Jenkins to the environments.
Usage guide: Print on A4, scrunch to a ball and throw at the back of his head.

No Cathedrals

Cause: Product team takes 8 months to push out a new version of productivity enhancing eclipse plugin.
Web team had ported all the relevant code to nodejs in 3 sprints.
Usage guide: Prints on A4, put it in an envelope, send to the product team by snail mail, it can wait.

No manual steps


Status:             OPEN
Description:        Environment will not boot up after redeploy.
                    Log message - 
                    FileNotFoundException: /var/app/tmp
Affects Version/s:  1.2 - 9.6.3
Usage guide: Sellotape to the back of the toilet door so
devs, qas & sysadmins can ponder the image as they take a dump.

No silver bullets

Cause: Head of architecture demands all perl scripts in the build process are rewritten as maven 2.0 plugins.
Usage guide: F11 (fullscreen), screenshot, save it as as a TIFF,
put a mail forwarding loop into to test mail server cc: all-arch@acmesoft.com.

Warning: rocket science ahead

This image may not be printed or copied.
But you may link to it in class level code comments of particularly complicated code.
Provided that the code is complicated by necessity.
And everyone agrees its complicated.
And you tried solutions in > 2 languages.
And the problem domain is complicated.
And everyone agrees the problem domain is complicated.

When you finally fix the architecture so that these horrible hacks are no longer necessary,

git commit -m http://ci.tp23.org/itsnotrocketscience.html